So far in this blog, I have yet to discuss in depth about my opinions regarding young parenthood. That is about to change.
I don't think in this day and age it is optimal to be a parent under the age of 20. However, teen pregnancy is not a new thing and I don't think it is possible to prevent every unplanned pregnancy. I am a supporter of comprehensive sexuality education programs and I think they can REDUCE the number of teen pregnancies, but we need to be realistic. Abortion and adoption are options for some young, pregnant women, but not all. So ultimately, there will always be young parents.
Over the last few years, I've had the opportunity to work with young mothers and assist them in formulating their own life goals and to also provide them with education about their pregnancy and their child's development. Each young woman that I came into contact with was unique. In my opinion, some of my clients were better parents than some adult parents. These young women were attentive to their child's needs, interested in playing an active role in their child's development, and did whatever it took to make sure their child was well taken care of. They were motivated, bright, and I saw a lot of potential for a great future for these young family.
I also had clients who I didn't have much hope for. Their parenting skills weren't the greatest and they were content relying on welfare, Medicaid, and food stamps. Their phone numbers and addresses changed often and I spent more time than I would've liked trying to track them down. A few of them had mental health issues, lived in homes where domestic violence was present, or had open cases with the Division for Youth and Family Services.
These two types of young mothers were the extremes. There were also many young women how I worked with who fell somewhere in between.
So what was it that made parenting seem so easy to some parents and so difficult for others? After working with a lot of young moms, I learned that the M.I.A. mothers lacked support and/or a place to call "home." From what I found, each client required a different amount of support. Some had many support people and others had only 1 or 2. Some needed a lot of support, others not so much.
But a stable home also made a difference. Could you imagine couch surfing with a 4 month old? Some of the moms I worked with bounced around and were decent parents, but I think having a routine would've made their lives much easier.
So back to what I was saying earlier. There will always be teen moms. Maybe instead of grumbling about babies having babies, let's face this issue head on, support these young parents emotionally, and assist them with finding stable living arrangements. If no one else will, I will!
