The Situation: Why Do Students Sometimes Act Out in Class?

Duquan from "The Wire"

If you have not yet seen the television show, "The Wire," add it to your Netflix que and watch it. If you want to know what youth who are living in under-served urban communities are facing, this show will give you a good sense as to what some of their day to day lives are like. Pay close attention to Season 4 and 5, which focuses on a group of boys who attend a Baltimore public school. The entire series will provide you with a good context for these two seasons and I would highly recommend spending a few months watching "The Wire" from beginning to end. It's a great show!

Namond from "The Wire"

As a Health Educator working in the Camden, NJ middle schools, I can tell you that the things that happened in Mr. Prez-bo's class in Season 4, also happened in my classes. Nothing too extreme happened, but there were certainly incidents that made me realize I would have to be a little more creative to reach the students. Sometimes, a few of my classes felt a bit out of control, but that does not go to say that all of them felt that way. I had some amazing classes that were a pleasure to teach.

What sparked this blog post idea was that I recently found a letter a student wrote to me for disrupting my class. I don't remember the specific incident or the student, but it sounded like she got in trouble for taking another student's pen. Here is what she wrote:

Students from "The Freedom Writers" Movie

"Ms. LeBeau, I applogize for interupting your class. I just did not deserve to get blamed for a "pen." That was a very stupid thing to get blamed for. I was not having a good day but I was waiting for your class so I could just unwind and let all my stress go. But I had to worry about a pen. That was one of my best friends. She must have thought I was disrespecting her but I was not. She have been through a lot every time I argue I think about her and her situation. I did not mean to disrupt your class, I just had alot of bottled up anger and emotions inside. I did not mean to let that out in her class but I could not take any more."

This letter taught me that it wasn't me, the class, the material we were learning, etc. that made this student act out. She clearly had a bad day and her friend was going through some tough times. What do you think her friend's situation was? What can be done to help students stay focused in school when students are dealing with some complex issues?

The friend's situation could have been anything from normal adolescent issues to something more serious like an unintended pregnancy, death of a friend or family member, stress from poverty, homelessness, sexual abuse, rape, domestic violence, or some other sort of problems at home or in the community.

To help students who are dealing with a complex issue, teachers should be sensitive and aware of the challenges that students may face. Teachers can also encourage students to talk to others trusted adults at school like a guidance counselor, school social worker, nurse, and other appropriate support staff. In the classroom, it is important to make learning fun and engaging for the students.

For some more tips, watch Season 4 of "The Wire," and see how Mr. Prez-bo learned to connect with his students and make learning fun for students who were dealing with complex issues.

Books That Inspire Me

I just finished reading two very inspirational books, The Freedom Writers Diary and Teach With Your Heart: Lessons I Learned From the Freedom Writers. They're both about teens, education, and change.

In the mid-90s, Erin Gruwell, a young white women in her twenties, used innovative techniques to teach a group of at-risk youth in Long Beach, California. The teens she taught were from all different cultural backgrounds and most lived in neighborhoods where crime, gang violence, poverty, drugs, and teen pregnancy were the norm.

Erin's goal was to teach to the students, not to standardized tests. She encouraged many of them to put down their guns and fists and pick up a pen. She created a family like atmosphere in her classroom, room 203, and did a fabulous job of reaching her students and inspired change in even her toughest students. Using themes about racism and tolerance, she brought peace to her classroom in a community where an undeclared gang war had broken out.

One of my favorite parts of their story is when Maria, a tough Latina student who previously wore an ankle bracelet as part of her probation, stood up during the toast for change and said, "I don't want to be pregnant by the time I'm fifteen like my mother. I don't want to spend the rest of my life behind bars like my father. And I don't want to be six feet under by the time I turn eighteen like my cousin. I want to change!"

After reading the books, Erin Gruwell has become my role model. I can relate to her in many ways and we've shared some similar experiences working with teens. I truly admire her ways of building rapport and trust with her students and I plan on continuing to build those same types of relationships with my teen clients. I hope to inspire change in my clients as well by meeting them where they're at and having hope in each and every one of them, even the hard to reach clients. 

The Cost of Teenage Pregnancy

If you enjoy learning about teen pregnancy prevention, check out The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy's blog called "Pregnant Pause".

Today, the National Campaign posted about how much teen childbearing costs us in public spending. Would you believe that as a nation we are spending 10.9 million dollars on teen pregnancy? And this does not include the cost of what we spend to assist teen parents in child-rearing.

It would cost us less money to fund more comprehensive sexuality health education programs, which would reduce the number of teen pregnancies. What can we do to convince our government that sex ed programs are valuable to everybody?

5 Ways to Advocate for Teen Pregnancy Prevention

Greetings Choice Readers! Today is the National Day to Prevent Teen Pregnancy. As you may already know, the only 100% way to prevent pregnancy is through abstinence. However, there are ways to reduce the risk of an unplanned pregnancy and the best first choice for teens is proper condom use with Emergency Contraception as a back up method. These methods are not always accessible to teens though. What can we do as adults to make these options easier for teens to obtain? They can become advocate for any (or all) of the following 5 suggestions.

1. Make comprehensive sexuality education in schools mandatory. Research has shown that Abstinence-only education programs are not effective. They do not provide students with a plan in case they do decide to engage in sexual activity. A good sexuality education program should be engaging, interactive, and age-appropriate. It would also include topics on goal-setting, self-esteem, healthy relationships, puberty and reproductive anatomy, decision making, abstinence, STIs, birth control, and proper condom use.

2. Parents should have open and honest conversations about sexuality with their child throughout his or her childhood--not just "the talk." This builds trust and comfort for both the child and parent(s) in discussing sexuality. There are also books such as The Bare Naked Truth by Kathy Stinson, It's So Amazing, It's Perfectly Normal, The Period Book, What's Going On Down There? that would be terrific ways to supplement conversations. Frequent, smaller talks will make the safe sex & condom talk less awkward when the child is a teenager.

3. High Schools (and some middle schools, depending on the district's rate of teen pregnancy) should make condoms accessible through the school nurse. This also includes having a nurse who is sex positive, not one who is judgmental. Many adults think this may mean that schools are condoning sex. I disagree, especially because at some schools teens can take pregnancy tests. Having condoms available will reduce the risk of the need for pregnancy tests. This is a no-brainer.

4. Pharmacies, supermarkets, and convenient stores should not have condoms locked in a cabinet or behind the counter. Do they really think teens are going to steal them? Or are they just trying to make an awkward purchase even more awkward? Perhaps the moralistic manager will simply decide a teen is too young to use condoms. This is not okay! Customers don't need to be of a certain age to buy condoms.

5. There should not be an age limit for obtaining Emergency Contraception (EC) over the counter.   EC is a last resort in preventing pregnancy. Mistakes happen, otherwise it wouldn't also be called Plan B. There is no reason why a teen shouldn't be able to get this back-up method of birth control over the counter, just like everyone else over the age of 17.

Why is family planning education important to teen moms?

Many adults may think that once a teen has gotten pregnant, she learned from her mistake and therefore will not become pregnant during the rest of her teenage years. Although this is true for some young moms, the reality is it is not true for all pregnant and parenting teenage mothers. According to the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy, "nearly one-quarter of teen mothers have a second birth before age 20."

From July 2008 to March 2010, I provided case management and life skills education to approximately 80 pregnant and parenting teenagers in Camden, NJ. 26 of those teen moms had more than 1 child & 6 out the 26 mothers had 3 children. Keep in mind, these numbers do not reflect any other unintended pregnancies, which resulted in miscarriage or abortion. All of the mothers were under the age of 21.  

Family planning education is just as important for parenting teens as it is for non-parenting teens. Any program that provides services to young moms should also consider implementing a family planning component. If that is not an option, I would highly recommend that the program bring in a trained sexuality health educator or staff should encourage clients to discuss family planning with their ob/gyn provider. By taking these steps, the program can:

1. Help teen moms decide if and when they want to have another baby. The teen moms can then begin to formulate a plan as to how they will prevent pregnancy until they're ready.
2. Reduce the effects of poverty on the family.
3. Help her set more attainable goals for her and her family, which can lead to self-sufficiency.

Teenager fakes pregnancy as part of her senior project

Gaby Rodriquez, a 17 year old high school senior, created an amazing experiment for her "Stereotypes, Rumors, and Statistics Project." She decided, with the support of her school's principal, superintendent, mother, boyfriend, and a few others, to fake a pregnancy for 6 months as a class project.

So what did Gaby learn from this? Pregnant teens often feel alienated from their friends, alone, and ashamed. Even though she wasn't pregnant, Gaby felt this way because of what other people had to say, such as "She's irresponsible," "she won't be able to go to college," "it was bound to happen," "I knew she was going to get pregnant," and even "she ruined her life."

Now that the project is over, she plans on sharing her findings with community leaders to provide better support for pregnant teens. Gaby made the difficult decision to spend almost her entire senior year of high school "pregnant" in order to shed light on teen pregnancy and I'm really looking forward to learning more from her research.

For more information about Gaby's story, click here.

Don't Take It Personally: How to Adjust Your Mindset When Working with Challenging At-risk Youth

Over the years, I have learned that many at-risk youth bring their own personalities, experiences, motives, etc. with them when they are in a program. You never know what type of client you are going to end up with, which certainly makes things exciting, interesting, and challenging.

At first, you take time to get to know your teen clients and build a rapport with them. You don't really know them in the beginning, but you start  to get a sense that you're making some sort of positive impact in their lives...or at least you hope that you are! Then, some of them throw you a curve ball.

When I was new to the direct service field, I would get upset when my clients didn't follow through on important tasks that would help them reach their goals. Or even worse, I'd get frustrated and angry if I felt like I was being played. I would think to myself, "how could they do this to me? I'm here to help them meet their goals."

Looking back, I noticed this was a bit self-centered. Once I realized what was going on, I adjusted my attitude to better understand my clients. I learned how to not take their attitudes, moods, and behaviors personally. Like everybody, they've had their own life experiences which shape them AND they continue to have experiences simultaneously while they're in the program. When you take all of this into account, as a professional, you can be more realistic about your expectations of the program participants. Your expectations should still be high, but make them reasonable and attainable for the teens. The "pick yourself up by your boot strap" mentality does not always work. Be there to guide them and know that they won't always follow through. The important thing to remember is that you must have a good relationship already set in place to encourage them to get over whatever it is stopping them from getting to the next level.

It's your choice as to how you handle challenging clients. My advice is to not take what they say, do, or don't do personally. At the end of the day, it has nothing to do with you.

Young Parents Need Support and a Place to Call "Home"

So far in this blog, I have yet to discuss in depth about my opinions regarding young parenthood. That is about to change.

I don't think in this day and age it is optimal to be a parent under the age of 20. However, teen pregnancy is not a new thing and I don't think it is possible to prevent every unplanned pregnancy. I am a supporter of comprehensive sexuality education programs and I think they can REDUCE the number of teen pregnancies, but we need to be realistic. Abortion and adoption are options for some young, pregnant women, but not all. So ultimately, there will always be young parents.

Over the last few years, I've had the opportunity to work with young mothers and assist them in formulating their own life goals and to also provide them with education about their pregnancy and their child's development. Each young woman that I came into contact with was unique. In my opinion, some of my clients were better parents than some adult parents. These young women were attentive to their child's needs, interested in playing an active role in their child's development, and did whatever it took to make sure their child was well taken care of. They were motivated, bright, and I saw a lot of potential for a great future for these young family. 

I also had clients who I didn't have much hope for. Their parenting skills weren't the greatest and they were content relying on welfare, Medicaid, and food stamps. Their phone numbers and addresses changed often and I spent more time than I would've liked trying to track them down. A few of them had mental health issues, lived in homes where domestic violence was present, or had open cases with the Division for Youth and Family Services. 

These two types of young mothers were the extremes. There were also many young women how I worked with who fell somewhere in between.

So what was it that made parenting seem so easy to some parents and so difficult for others? After working with a lot of young moms, I learned that the M.I.A. mothers lacked support and/or a place to call "home." From what I found, each client required a different amount of support. Some had many support people and others had only 1 or 2. Some needed a lot of support, others not so much.

But a stable home also made a difference. Could you imagine couch surfing with a 4 month old? Some of the moms I worked with bounced around and were decent parents, but I think having a routine would've made their lives much easier.

So back to what I was saying earlier. There will always be teen moms. Maybe instead of grumbling about babies having babies, let's face this issue head on, support these young parents emotionally, and assist them with finding stable living arrangements. If no one else will, I will!   

Which birth control method is most effective?

As a former sexuality health educator, many young people would ask me, "what method of birth control is most effective?" I had some nice, colorful handouts that listed each birth control method and the percentage of effectiveness. I would supplement the handout by telling the person the pros and cons of each method and I'd say something like, "when used correctly 1 (or however many) out 100 women using __________ method will become pregnant each year."

It is true: some contraceptive methods are more effective than others. However, in my opinion, the most effective birth control option is the one that a couple uses correctly and consistently. So how do young people decide which method is right for them?

The best way for someone to figure out what type of birth control to choose is by doing research and learning about the different methods. If a woman is considering a hormonal method, she should talk to a nurse or clinician about the methods that interest her to find out about the side effects and how it works. I'd also recommend that young women gather pamphlets, go to Planned Parenthood's website, and talk to friends about their experience.  

I recently found Bedsider, a website that shows videos of real women talking about their birth control. I think it is a great resource and can help women learn more about a particular method. Keep in mind though that most of the women in these videos are not talking about the cons of their method and everybody's body may react differently to a hormonal method of birth control.

Many young people also choose condoms, which may be easier for them to access. They lower one's risk of giving or receiving STIs. In addition, using a male or female condom with a hormonal method adds extra protection to preventing pregnancy.

It's also important to educate young people about Emergency Contraception (EC), what it is, how it works, and where they can get it. The answer to all of these questions can be found here. I recently read this blog post from Pregnant Pause about college students' knowledge about EC. As you can see, the majority of college students are having sex. About half of them reported that at one time they or their partner thought they were pregnant, but there were also a significant number of students that reported knowing "little or nothing" about Emergency Contraception.

Teens and young adults who are (or may become) sexually active and trying to avoid pregnancy should choose a birth control method that fits into their lifestyle, consider also using condoms, and be knowledgeable about Emergency Contraception and where to access it. 

 

How important is pregnancy prevention to young people?

Adults are usually the ones who talk about the importance of preventing teen pregnancy. But ultimately, sexually active young people in heterosexual relationships are the ones making decisions about whether or not to use a contraceptive method.

For the ones who had a comprehensive sex ed. program, they know about the methods of birth control and how to access them. So why are some of those same students still having unplanned pregnancies? When I started my career as a sexuality health educator teaching in an under served community with a high rate of teen pregnancies, I asked myself this question often. I learned that sexually active youth decide where they stand on this issue mostly through their actions.

Is the couple consistently using condoms? Does the young woman do whatever it takes to get to a family planning health center to obtain a different or additional method? Do they take time to learn how to use the method? If the answer is "yes", than obviously pregnancy prevention is important to that young couple. But for other teens who are not consistently practicing safe sex, perhaps they do not view the possibility of an unplanned pregnancy as a bad thing.

Something else to take into consideration is the culture of the community and whether teens having babies is accepted or not. Where I grew up, teen pregnancy was not condoned and I could count on one hand the number of pregnant teens who had babies as high school students. However, in communities where a lot of young people are having kids, being a young parent is not necessarily viewed as being negative.

Ultimately, it's up to teens to decide how important it is for them to prevent pregnancy. As adults, the best thing we can do is have open and honest conversations with them about the risk of having unprotected sex and be there to support them if an unplanned pregnancy occurs.

 

Relationship Resolution

It's the start to a new year and I'm sure many of you have begun working on your resolutions. In addition to the ones you're already working on, you might also want to consider creating a relationship resolution.

You can design one by choosing any type of relationship you are in whether it be with a friend, family member, romantic partner, or someone else in your life that is important to you. Decide what is important to you. Some basic qualities that are in most healthy relationships include good communication, respect, trust, honesty, equality, and fairness. Take a moment to think about other important qualities that you are looking for in your relationships.

Now that you know what qualities to look for, find out if these qualities are also important to the other person. It's important for both of you to be on the same page. If you find that your relationship is lacking something important, you can decide to work on it or choose to end the relationship.

Planned Parenthood's website has a great list of ways to develop healthy relationships. Both partners need to be invested in the changes and it takes time and energy to make improvements. Also, remember that relationships have their ups and downs and things won't be perfect all of the time.

If you find things are not working out consider calling it quits. You can check out PP's link for ending a relationship for some helpful tips. Keep in mind that some relationships are more complicated than others. Can you completely end the relationship when there is something else keeping the two of you connected? Do you have any obligations to this person? A relationship like this is complicated, but don't let that make you feel as if you have no control. It is important for you to make changes, otherwise you'll be unhappy. Brainstorm some ideas and try to figure out how to make it work best for you, the other person, and anyone else who may be involved. Doing this and implementing the changes will certainly make things easier when you have to interact with the other person in the future.

So have you thought about which relationship you are going to work on? In my opinion, this is one of the most difficult things to do, so be sure to take your time and don't be to hard on yourself or your partner. Relationships take time. If you have any other tips you'd like to share, be sure to post them.

Good luck and happy new year!