Everybody Needs a Safe Zone

Have you ever seen this symbol?

I had one of these on my dorm room door in college, as well as hanging up in each of my cubicles at work. It is a symbol to let people who are gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender know that you are an ally. By displaying this, you are taking the first step in letting others know that you are understanding and supportive of everybody regardless of a person's sexual orientation.

I think it is important for our society to have symbols like this to show support to anyone who may be discriminated against. I also believe that we have all been judged at some point in our lives and it doesn't feel good. Whoever coined the phrase "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt," came up with a pretty good defense mechanism. But are phrases like this enough? 

So how does this relate to decision making? Many of us consult others when we are faced with a decision to make. How do we know who to go to for help? Generally,we go to mentors and friends who have showed us their safe zone symbol. Usually, you talk to someone you have built a trusting relationship with. But there are some cases in which you may need some advice from someone you don't know. So what do you do? You either seek out help from someone you're unfamiliar with or you avoid the situation.

In my opinion, setting ground rules and showing your safe zone symbol to young people is key to helping them work through a challenge, whether you already know them or not. While I was trying to decide the topic I would post about today, I was looking through some of my resources and found a copy of "Principles for Sexuality Education" from a curriculum called All Together Now: Teaching about Contraception and Safer Sex. After reading over it, I realized that these principles, when reworded, could also be applied to designing a safe zone for young people who are facing difficult decisions. So here is my revised version:

Safe Zone Principles

1. R-E-S-P-E-C-T. As Aretha says, "Find out what it means to me (them)." Just like adults, it means a lot to young people to be respected. Although being a teenager can be difficult and confusing, they are certainly able to make changes in their lives.  
2. MEET YOUNG PEOPLE WHERE THERE AT. Brush up on your communication skills by really listening and processing what teens are saying. Provide them with relevant feedback and brainstorm possible solutions together. Discuss the "what ifs" of each option and simply be there to guide them.
3. TEENS LEARN A LOT FROM THEIR FRIENDS. Recognize that it is empowering for youth to communicate with each other and brainstorm some of their own teen friendly solutions. Adults, take a step back and remember that teens are pretty resourceful. 
4. BE OPEN AND PROVIDE THEM WITH ACCURATE INFORMATION. Plain and simple. Don't you think this would help them make better choices? 
5. TAKE A POSITIVE APPROACH. Being negative will only make matters worse. Be a model for how to handle difficult situations and help teens look on the bright side. Being faced with challenge is a learning experience isn't it? 

Can you think of any other Safe Zone principles? I'd love to hear some and add more to my list!