Don't Take It Personally: How to Adjust Your Mindset When Working with Challenging At-risk Youth

Over the years, I have learned that many at-risk youth bring their own personalities, experiences, motives, etc. with them when they are in a program. You never know what type of client you are going to end up with, which certainly makes things exciting, interesting, and challenging.

At first, you take time to get to know your teen clients and build a rapport with them. You don't really know them in the beginning, but you start  to get a sense that you're making some sort of positive impact in their lives...or at least you hope that you are! Then, some of them throw you a curve ball.

When I was new to the direct service field, I would get upset when my clients didn't follow through on important tasks that would help them reach their goals. Or even worse, I'd get frustrated and angry if I felt like I was being played. I would think to myself, "how could they do this to me? I'm here to help them meet their goals."

Looking back, I noticed this was a bit self-centered. Once I realized what was going on, I adjusted my attitude to better understand my clients. I learned how to not take their attitudes, moods, and behaviors personally. Like everybody, they've had their own life experiences which shape them AND they continue to have experiences simultaneously while they're in the program. When you take all of this into account, as a professional, you can be more realistic about your expectations of the program participants. Your expectations should still be high, but make them reasonable and attainable for the teens. The "pick yourself up by your boot strap" mentality does not always work. Be there to guide them and know that they won't always follow through. The important thing to remember is that you must have a good relationship already set in place to encourage them to get over whatever it is stopping them from getting to the next level.

It's your choice as to how you handle challenging clients. My advice is to not take what they say, do, or don't do personally. At the end of the day, it has nothing to do with you.